Gabrielle Union Is From Nebraska (GUIFN)

lacajaderaval:

Upfronts 2013

NBC

My initial thoughts on the new NBC shows is as follows:

• The Blacklist: looks pretty damn good.  I’m resisting saying that the rookie agent who the criminal mastermind insists that he will only work with is some long lost daughter…maybe she’s his younger female clone, duh!
• Ironside: Wow, it’s going to take a lot for me to get used to Mark Sanger in that chair (if you get that reference, then you’re as old as me, welcome to AARP Tumblr, bitch!).  The all new Ironside is Blair Underwood (with that motherfucking smoldering ass voice, I hate his ass) now has sex appeal (I don’t know what they talking about, Ironside ALWAYS had sex appeal, Raymond Burr could have totally got it!).  Now Ironside is in NYC instead of classy San Francisco in the original series.  So much for sex appeal. 
• Sean Saves The World: Some people want to watch the world burn, some of those people obviously work at NBC and selected this nonsense for their fall schedule.  Horrible. I couldn’t get through the preview, seriously NBC, you cancelled Go On and somehow green lit this pile of projectile vomit? Easily the worst of this bunch and, from the looks of that trailer, the worst TV show this side of Homeboys From Outer Space.  Damn, Gina. 
• Welcome To The Family: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Pregnant: The Latino Remix Meets Modern Family. Lame. Only reason I think this has a shot is because the cast, led by Mike O’Malley, Ricardo Chavira, Justina Machado and Mary McCormack, is outstanding and could overcome the “you can see them coming from outer space like large meteors” plots.
• Dracula: This thing had Downton Abbey reeking all over it from the first second of the preview.  Guess who’s behind this?  Combined with the dude who made Henry VIII sexumal (is that a word?  Like you care, you’re already in thrall of Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  Me?  I see that Drac’s sidekick, Renfeld is now a sidekick Negro, thanks Affirmative Action! Wee.  No lie, he reminded me of Desmond Pfeiffer, that ain’t a good look, yo.
• The Michael J. Fox Show:  I love MJF so much that I used initials instead of his name.  Yeah, he got it like that. Glad to see he’s back on TV in a regular series, he’s been killin’ it in various guest spots on other shows for years since he scaled back on the work since he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  In this show, he plays up his illness for comic effect (you know some assholes will have a problem with that, eh, fuck them, let MJF be great, motherfuckers, eat candied shit, tricks).  But I can understand the hesitation to laugh at such situations, PC Assimilation being the bullshit that it is but you will be laughing by the end of the preview for the show, trust me kids.  (Sidebar:  Wendell Pierce is in the cast for the show.  I dare not call him a sidekick Negro.  Dude will kick my ass, I’ve read too many of this tweets and he yelled at me in one of them, he didn’t call me an asshole but he might as well done it.  You ain’t lived life until Bunk Moreland has shown his disgust of you in a tweet.  What was it about?  Oh, something I said about the New Orleans Saints, Pierce’s favorite team.  I was actually giving the Saints props and he shit all over my comments lol.  Fucking Saints fans, they win one damn Super Bowl and they think they’re Jesus. Um.  what was the question?)